The Rules

There's a whole lot goin on in Oakdale. As I mentioned in my last blog everybody's doin it, well almost everybody. Now that my beloved Nuke is back together you'd think well okay so now they can take that next step, like they've waited far longer than anyone in Oakdale ever has, like ever...but nooooooooooo...seems it's too much to expect a gay love affair to consummate, and that's what it is, they're gay, two guys and all, wouldn't be right...wrong. It's such an obvious double standard and I'm gettin really pist out about it...why does Noah have to live at the farm, why aren't they going to live at the cottage like they said only a few weeks ago, hmmm, no they must live at the farm because there are RULES at the farm, no one can do it at the farm, well, except for jack and juicyjanet who are doin it like bunnies right now. And it's fine for carly to sleep with married holden at the same time she's goin to Paris with neal who she doesn't even know, and it's okay for emily to do it with casey the 20 year old stepbrother of her son, sure, that doesn't break too many rules, course it's not at the farm, just in her office, a public space.

I love the Nuke storyline, am glad they haven't just dropped it, haven't totally caved in to the pressures, but c'mon, teenage guys have mega hormones, these guys are in love, and still are not allowed to have sex. It's a cop out and everyone knows it...I'm just hopin the guys remember that the Snyder pond is out there, and so far this summer, no one has visited it for a "picnic."

Everybody's Doin It

There is a whole lot of fun happenin in Oakdale right now...it's sultry, it's hot, it's steamy at the pond...all of Oakdale is doin it, at the Lakeview, at the farm, at the camp, at Paul's house with sophie just outside in the rose garden, heeeeeee...everybody in Oakdale is doin it except for Nuke of course...more on that later. So Carly and Holden did it, Holden and Lily are doin it again though Lily doesn't know about Carly, and Carly is jealous as hell, Paul and Meg are doin it again now that sophie is dead and buried in the rose garden so she can't do it anymore with Paul which was messin up Paul and Meg, Jack and Juicy Janet did it, Emily and Casey are doin it in her office, nuMike is wishin he was doin it, and even Parker and Liberty are up to kissin...so why aren't Luke and Noah doin it, hmmm...Luke even invited Noah over for a ravishing at the empty farm, but noooooooooooooo, Noah wants to go in the army, geez, the army...well, he did want to, but today Luke changed his mind, sure took enough doin and arguin, but I think at the end when the army guy told Noah he had to not tell about bein gay is what finally convinced Noah to not go in the army...well thank the goddesses for don't ask don't tell then since it seems to be what got Nuke back together and hopefully on track again...tis the season for doin it and so far the Snyder pond is still available, but they better hurry cause Carly might just beat Nuke to it with the nubritishguy, kind of a revenge doin it...hurry Nuke and do it too...

Their Song

Cyndi Lauper came to Oakdale today for gay pride day at Oakdale U...of course she immediately made friends with the luscious Luke who relayed the whole sad tale of love lost with Noah...Luke was just beautiful today, the lighting accentuated the gorgeous planes of his face, the beautiful high cheekbones, the lips, and the glistening holy hair..Luke was hot today...so Cyndi sang a couple of songs but the one that really mattered was True Colors which is now Luke and Noah's song, it was enough to soften up a little the perpetually confused Noah who confessed his love to Luke, and they kissed, a couple of times, and Luke wanted to go to the empty farm with Noah and have sex...it was perfect. But no, cause Noah just can't do it, no, he can't, cause he up and joined the army. Like that's a reason. Damn, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, the army!!! Way to go Noah, if you want to get even more confused, and when Luke asked him whether they knew he was gay, Noah said he didn't think it was necessary to tell em, gotta love that don't ask, don't tell army lingo...so now we're left in no sex, love lost again limbo. I do hear through the grapevine though that Luke will be working hard to convince Noah not to do it, and will even be telling the army bout the gayness thing...I sure hope it works, but even if it does, what are the odds the farmhouse will ever be empty again, hmmmm...course the pond would be fine too...I would say also that it is great the soap did a whole gay pride day, don't think that's been done on a soap before, and for a soap opera it is very very brave.

Emmy is Just a Pretty Name

Well I can't help it but I got so seriously pist out when Van Hansis did not win the daytime emmy...did the usual suspects not watch the tapes or whaaaat...are they just tryin to save GL from almost certain death or whaaaaaaat...no matter cause we all know who should have won. The Nuke story has been so great because Van Hansis is a great actor, he has made little Luke, Luciano, a great character...and hey next year's another year, and hey, did he look great or what, all orange glow, and a great hair day with the holy hair cascading just so...looooooove it...

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

The split between Luke and Noah just keeps getting worse...now Noah is moving to the dorms cause he's still "confused"...and today they had their biggest fight ever...I know the course of true love never runs smooth in soaps, but geez I think Noah is being very uncool in his non-committal to Luke who is sooooooooooo in love with his Noah, and that's the only reason I'll give Noah a break later when they get back together...they WILL get back together just as soon as Cyndi Lauper sings to em and puts em back on course...meanwhile Luke is kinda flirting with another guy, and Noah is jealous, oh yes he is, another complication but not insurmountable...I guess we'll be seeing quite a bit more of the Nuke split for a few weeks until Cyndi gets there...all I can hope is that they have a great reunion which means it's at long last time for them to do it...living for it...

Meanwhile, the Holden, nulily split gets worse cause Holden is falling for Carly, and Carly is fallin right back atcha...they shared a little kiss, lots of awkward moments not talkin about it, but I'm not sure where this is going...Holden and Lily are soul mates after all, at least with the real Lily, just isn't the same with nulily...so maybe it's way past time to break em up for real and also give Jack a shot at Juicy Janet, which will make Bradley jealous, and that will make katieho jealous, so that will then free up letting Bradley get together with Juicy and let katieho and Jack get to know each other all over again...don't know how nulily fits into all of this, actually she doesn't, so I say send her away, and welcome back the real Lily who will fight for her man much to Carly's chagrin, where is that little cat Holden carved for her years ago, hmmm...damn it's so convoluted...

Over on B&B the katie deathwatch is over but she's not...seems Bridget found the miracle cure and katie is rapidly recovering, but Bridget may have opened a can of worms since katie and nick did it on her deathbed and now katie is realllllly in love with nick...stay tuned it might get interesting...meanwhile donnaho has a new son and is in for a world of trouble from the ever self-righteous forrester children, children...right, they're all over 40 and all of em take after stephanie, mean to the bone...this one might get interesting too...

New York, New York, With a Whimper

Guess they've wrapped up the Nuke does New York story with the colonel goin overboard and ameera goin off to detention where she belongs which is away from Luke and Noah. Too bad it was such a contrived bunch of nothing, dumb story, a way to get rid of ameera, well that's good, but still didn't resolve Noah's problem with dad...well it almost did until the colonel thought that Noah set him up, wrongggggggg...oh well...and now Noah's mad at Luke, like for bein there for him and makin Luke feel really bad...I am so hopin that next week they will get back together, and maybe even do it during the Cyndi Lauper story...something to look forward to...

Meanwhile things are really not goin well in Oakdale...Ali is suin nuchris, which is a good thing and maybe we can get rid of his boring persona...psychosophie is accusing paul of rape, puleeeeeeeze, and has the means to prove it, don't ask, just say ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww and think of Monica Lewinsky...is Carly like showin how all infatuated she is with Holden or whaaaaaaat, is it obvious or what, so they're goin on another horsey ride, too bad Jack's gonna be there too...I'd still rather see carjack back but a little fling with Holden won't hurt and maybe then the ever so NOT Lily, nulily can take herself to a nunnery out of Oakdale for good, then return rested and tanned as the real Martha Byrne Lily...I have a dream...

Out in Bold and Beautiful land, it's been sad sad sad what with katie now rejecting her brother's heart of gold, but it's kind of a waste of time cause you know they're gonna save her cause she's a major character and all, sooooooooooo...and then there's the donnaho has a son story...of course psychopammy is onto the fact that somethin's goin on, she's just not sure what, heeeeeeeeeee...and the saving grace in this story is that nuson Marcus is whatyacall very attractive, in fact I can see all the logan girls goin after him, maybe even the evilstephanie since she's so bored at the beach house...Ridge and Taylor's other twin Steffy is back in town and already fallin for Marcus and I cannot wait til Ridge finds out he's donnaho's son, priceless...

Luke and Noah With a Vengeance

Today Luke and Noah hit the streets of New York chasing Noah's baddad the colonel and the apparently kidnapped ameera. Of course ameera just wanted to help the colonel but perhaps changed her mind a little when she discovered he was drugging her...looks like the colonel has cooked up a deal with the immigration goonie to escape from New York in exchange for ameera...meanwhile the guys spent a lot of time runnin around lookin for both of em, and finally Noah literally bumps into his baddad who doesn't yet know that ameera is missing. Meanwhile Luke literally bumps into ameera just about around the corner and she hesitatingly tells him what she knows...Luke insists she go to the police for protection and flags down a beat cop and I guess they take her away, probably won't be much protection though once the immigration dude finds out. Noah and the colonel have it out and the encounter ends with colonel punchin out his beloved son, damn, what a champ. A frantic Luke finally finds Noah and explains what has happened to ameera. Noah is not a happy camper with the ameera in protective custody story and seems to be pretty pissed out at Luke...just then a foaming at the mouth colonel calls noah and tells him that if ameera isn't at pier 17 by noon the following day that both he and Luke will be dead...ooooooooooooh, dead by who, whom, or what, the colonel, the immigration guy, stay tuned I guess. I don't know who dreamed this story up but maybe they should try something else besides writing...if it weren't about Luke and Noah I'd be equally bored and laughing...story C-, Luke and Noah, priceless.

In other boring news of the soap day, sophie is becoming more obsessed and unhinged by the moment. Geez, I sure wish someone would give me a jewelry party like that, especially since sophie's been makin joolz for about two minutes, but anyway I see a bad moon risin on this story...paul and meg and mike continue to be boring, does paul have any look anymore other than the hurt puppy dog please hit me look...and nuchris and alison are putting me straight to sleep, and so is saint aaron...the carly and holden story if it ever gets goin might actually be kind of interesting, nulily will sure as hell be pissed out...and what can you say about emily and casey except ewwwwwwwwwwww...I think margo might kill someone when she finds out, which actually would be funny.