As The World Stopped Turning

There was sure as hell some Nuke today, course we might just be callin it Bluke soon, heeeeeeeeeeee...Noah has rejected Luke cause he's so effin honest and noble and all, gag meeeeeeee...so Luke is despondent and goes to Yo's and gets seriously drunkypoo, back to his old destructive ways...Casey calls Noah to come and help Luke and Luke is soooooooo pist out at Noah and so unhappy, but at least Noah gets the car keys so Luke ends up walkin, out in the middle of nowhere apparently...meanwhile back at the hospital Brian and Lucy are gettin married, just like that, just cause Lucy is sick and tired of bein alone, so gee why not just get married...so they do, then she falls asleep since she's just had surgery, and Brian leaves and finds Luke wanderin out there, somewhere, and gives him a ride home, Luke is still tres drunk and Brian tells him to clean up...Brian is still there when Luke comes back, and Luke starts cryin awaaaaaay bout his Noah and Brian hugs him, then Brian kisses his forehead, then his cheek, and then the world stops as Brian kisses him, full frontal liplock, but only for a moment cause even drunky Luke says wtf, what was thaaaaaaaaat and runs upstairs, course now at least he's no longer drunk...fade to black as Brian just sits there in the kitchen, not even looking too confused, just very serious...stay tuned cause tomorrow Luke finds out Brian married Lucy...I wonder if he's gonna tell, he loves his grandma...so either way it's very bad timing since Lucy is so sick...damn, what a conundrum, hmmm...

Summery Review

Since the Nuke sightings have been few and far between this summer, a few stolen but passionless kisses and almost no air time, I thought I'd do an update on the other happenings in Oakdale and LA.

The Saga of Donnaho and Hunnybear

Poor kids, what an awful way to start a marriage...first the mean forrester children tried everything to get donnaho away from dad with no success. The evil and most like her mother award goes to the evil feliciawiththeboobs and her plot to have the questionable owen seduce donnaho...a no go since donnaho is so in love with hunnybear. Next up, the increasingly demented ridge, first cutting off dad's life machine and then trying to guilt donnaho into signing the death warrant to pull the plug, almost worked until the ever more creepy owen stopped her. And then of course, the beloved hunnybear had a big old heart attack right after consummating another donnaho honey attack while dressed up as a cheetah, great sex but apparently not great for the heart, sooooooooooo, he's been in a coma for weeks now and donnaho has been beside herself with grief and missin the honey antics. It's a good thing that donnaho found her long lost son Marcus, current Romeo to ridge's daughter steffy's Juliet, what a sweet love story, hmmm, damn they sure want to do it. Anyway, Marcus decided that hunnybear must have been poisoned by badboyowen just because he hates him so much and he's protectin his mom and all, but gee turns out he was right cause hunnybear was poisoned, but by whom, hmmm...heeeeeee...turns out it's psychopammy who stopped taking those meds and I guess ate one teabag too many...so anyway she poisoned hunnybear, didn't mean to kill him though, no, and then in the best scene of the summer tried to kill donnaho by covering her in honey and lettin a hungry honeybear, do you see the irony here, almost killed by a honeybear, heeeeeeee...anyway the ever present owen barged into the room and told the bear to go away and he did, really, he just went away...and then psychopammy ran away and is still at large, all of this much to stephanie's regret and chagrin. Stay tuned to this one because just as hunnybear is comin out of his coma, donnaho is finally givin in the the charms, if you can call em that, of weirdowen even while hunnybear is sayin his first word, donnaho...look for stephanie to cause big problems in the now troubled marriage of donnaho and hunnybear, so sad...


Summer of Love Oakdale Style

Except for Luke and Noah it's been a lovefest in Oakdale all summer, everyone has done it except for Nuke and Lucinda, but that'll be comin up in the fall. Carly and Holden, Lily and Mike, Parker and Liberty, Jack and JuicyJanet, Emily and Casey, Ali and almost Chris and now Aaron...there's probably more just can't remember em all. And then there was the big poisoning mystery story, lots of poisoning on soaps right now, weird poisons, creative poisons. Turns out the whacky doctor Rick from a few years back was able to poison half of Oakdale from his jail cell, good goin doctor, and then escaped just when really really poisoned nuchris was findin a cure and all, but the doc held hostages, and tried to kill a few more people before escaping to the roof before being captured by Margo who was havin a good day. All in all pretty much a snooze. Meanwhile badbrad flipped out cause Liberty had sex with Parker and so he got her a bodyguard, victor or something, and that didn't work so he took to rantin about it alot, and then Liberty was attacked in the woods after eatin some funny brownies, marijuana poisoning, heeeee...and badbrad thought Parker raped Liberty but of course he didn't, but then badbrad found out it was the creepy guy katieho had suggested date Liberty, good goin there katieho, and turns out he didn't rape her just ripped off her clothes, and then fled until badbrad found him at the pond and almost drowned him, but didn't and actually saved him, but hid from the cops and now there's going to be a whole big old story on badbrad's downfall. And in an effort to boost ratings I guess, they've now brought back the ever sinister James Stenbeck, the mother of all bad guys on ATWT, and of course he's already manipulating and terrorizing his beloved son Paul and the preggers Meg who's supposed to be stayin in bed for the duration but now that's not likely to happen. And finally they're bringing back Dusty this fall, didn't die after all, but I've heard this before...I'm thinkin they need a new lover for Lily since Mike is leavin town and Holden is still enamored with Carly. It's just exhausting. And supposedly there will be some Nuke storyline regarding Luke getting more in touch with his gayness, well I hope so, and hopefully he'll find a new hot boyfriend so that he too gets to do it. Here's hopin...

The Rules

There's a whole lot goin on in Oakdale. As I mentioned in my last blog everybody's doin it, well almost everybody. Now that my beloved Nuke is back together you'd think well okay so now they can take that next step, like they've waited far longer than anyone in Oakdale ever has, like ever...but nooooooooooo...seems it's too much to expect a gay love affair to consummate, and that's what it is, they're gay, two guys and all, wouldn't be right...wrong. It's such an obvious double standard and I'm gettin really pist out about it...why does Noah have to live at the farm, why aren't they going to live at the cottage like they said only a few weeks ago, hmmm, no they must live at the farm because there are RULES at the farm, no one can do it at the farm, well, except for jack and juicyjanet who are doin it like bunnies right now. And it's fine for carly to sleep with married holden at the same time she's goin to Paris with neal who she doesn't even know, and it's okay for emily to do it with casey the 20 year old stepbrother of her son, sure, that doesn't break too many rules, course it's not at the farm, just in her office, a public space.

I love the Nuke storyline, am glad they haven't just dropped it, haven't totally caved in to the pressures, but c'mon, teenage guys have mega hormones, these guys are in love, and still are not allowed to have sex. It's a cop out and everyone knows it...I'm just hopin the guys remember that the Snyder pond is out there, and so far this summer, no one has visited it for a "picnic."

Everybody's Doin It

There is a whole lot of fun happenin in Oakdale right now...it's sultry, it's hot, it's steamy at the pond...all of Oakdale is doin it, at the Lakeview, at the farm, at the camp, at Paul's house with sophie just outside in the rose garden, heeeeeee...everybody in Oakdale is doin it except for Nuke of course...more on that later. So Carly and Holden did it, Holden and Lily are doin it again though Lily doesn't know about Carly, and Carly is jealous as hell, Paul and Meg are doin it again now that sophie is dead and buried in the rose garden so she can't do it anymore with Paul which was messin up Paul and Meg, Jack and Juicy Janet did it, Emily and Casey are doin it in her office, nuMike is wishin he was doin it, and even Parker and Liberty are up to kissin...so why aren't Luke and Noah doin it, hmmm...Luke even invited Noah over for a ravishing at the empty farm, but noooooooooooooo, Noah wants to go in the army, geez, the army...well, he did want to, but today Luke changed his mind, sure took enough doin and arguin, but I think at the end when the army guy told Noah he had to not tell about bein gay is what finally convinced Noah to not go in the army...well thank the goddesses for don't ask don't tell then since it seems to be what got Nuke back together and hopefully on track again...tis the season for doin it and so far the Snyder pond is still available, but they better hurry cause Carly might just beat Nuke to it with the nubritishguy, kind of a revenge doin it...hurry Nuke and do it too...

Their Song

Cyndi Lauper came to Oakdale today for gay pride day at Oakdale U...of course she immediately made friends with the luscious Luke who relayed the whole sad tale of love lost with Noah...Luke was just beautiful today, the lighting accentuated the gorgeous planes of his face, the beautiful high cheekbones, the lips, and the glistening holy hair..Luke was hot today...so Cyndi sang a couple of songs but the one that really mattered was True Colors which is now Luke and Noah's song, it was enough to soften up a little the perpetually confused Noah who confessed his love to Luke, and they kissed, a couple of times, and Luke wanted to go to the empty farm with Noah and have sex...it was perfect. But no, cause Noah just can't do it, no, he can't, cause he up and joined the army. Like that's a reason. Damn, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, the army!!! Way to go Noah, if you want to get even more confused, and when Luke asked him whether they knew he was gay, Noah said he didn't think it was necessary to tell em, gotta love that don't ask, don't tell army lingo...so now we're left in no sex, love lost again limbo. I do hear through the grapevine though that Luke will be working hard to convince Noah not to do it, and will even be telling the army bout the gayness thing...I sure hope it works, but even if it does, what are the odds the farmhouse will ever be empty again, hmmmm...course the pond would be fine too...I would say also that it is great the soap did a whole gay pride day, don't think that's been done on a soap before, and for a soap opera it is very very brave.

Emmy is Just a Pretty Name

Well I can't help it but I got so seriously pist out when Van Hansis did not win the daytime emmy...did the usual suspects not watch the tapes or whaaaat...are they just tryin to save GL from almost certain death or whaaaaaaat...no matter cause we all know who should have won. The Nuke story has been so great because Van Hansis is a great actor, he has made little Luke, Luciano, a great character...and hey next year's another year, and hey, did he look great or what, all orange glow, and a great hair day with the holy hair cascading just so...looooooove it...

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

The split between Luke and Noah just keeps getting worse...now Noah is moving to the dorms cause he's still "confused"...and today they had their biggest fight ever...I know the course of true love never runs smooth in soaps, but geez I think Noah is being very uncool in his non-committal to Luke who is sooooooooooo in love with his Noah, and that's the only reason I'll give Noah a break later when they get back together...they WILL get back together just as soon as Cyndi Lauper sings to em and puts em back on course...meanwhile Luke is kinda flirting with another guy, and Noah is jealous, oh yes he is, another complication but not insurmountable...I guess we'll be seeing quite a bit more of the Nuke split for a few weeks until Cyndi gets there...all I can hope is that they have a great reunion which means it's at long last time for them to do it...living for it...

Meanwhile, the Holden, nulily split gets worse cause Holden is falling for Carly, and Carly is fallin right back atcha...they shared a little kiss, lots of awkward moments not talkin about it, but I'm not sure where this is going...Holden and Lily are soul mates after all, at least with the real Lily, just isn't the same with nulily...so maybe it's way past time to break em up for real and also give Jack a shot at Juicy Janet, which will make Bradley jealous, and that will make katieho jealous, so that will then free up letting Bradley get together with Juicy and let katieho and Jack get to know each other all over again...don't know how nulily fits into all of this, actually she doesn't, so I say send her away, and welcome back the real Lily who will fight for her man much to Carly's chagrin, where is that little cat Holden carved for her years ago, hmmm...damn it's so convoluted...

Over on B&B the katie deathwatch is over but she's not...seems Bridget found the miracle cure and katie is rapidly recovering, but Bridget may have opened a can of worms since katie and nick did it on her deathbed and now katie is realllllly in love with nick...stay tuned it might get interesting...meanwhile donnaho has a new son and is in for a world of trouble from the ever self-righteous forrester children, children...right, they're all over 40 and all of em take after stephanie, mean to the bone...this one might get interesting too...